I remember few days back,my childhood buddy(won't reveal his name) getting very depressed.He was actually thinking of ending up his life.
And the first thing that occurred to me after hearing this was like
WTF ? It was the worst thing that I have ever heard in my life
And I pray that i do not hear that again in my from anyone - anyone who has been so close to me for all these years.
I know I am bad at interacting and sustaining relationships still I tried to convince him for not doing this cowardly act.Somehow, he gave up the idea and
I was relieved.
However after this whole act, I was left with some unanswered questions which must be interrogated.
Why do people feel like ending up their life ? Is it some kind of emotional or psychological tension or failing on your expectations ? Well, whatever..but
I believe no reason is big enough
to kill yourself.I just can't think of it.
In fact, I feel like screwing up each and every single person who I think is making my life pathetic
and that gives me a drive for living.I feel psychotic but definitely not pathetic. But I think that's
ok because that's what which keeps me in the game- in this fucking survival
game.I dreamt of doing so many things when I was young and now when it's time to take a step in that direction, I can't let any lame excuse to eat up my life just like that.
You smoke, booze,weeds..and do other wild things which are considered inappropriate but even that's
ok because to a certain extent, it gives you pleasure and surely, kills you in the long run.
But it's better than suicide.You don't live for others, you got one life - exclusively for yourself.Live it in a way you want.Fuck them who made your life miserable and make them realise they deserved that.
"Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. ..." - thanks to American history X for that line.I think it sparks something in my reptilian brain
because I stand there and inhale and think oh my god, I love myself !
